Now that I’ve bared my soul, shared my fears, and told you what wasn’t working, let’s to celebrate what is working.
It’s crazy to me how similar so many of us are in our thinking and self image. It’s sad too. Reading your comments, Facebook messages, emails, and talking with some of you in person made me realize how hard we are on ourselves.
We’re our own worst enemy. We see flaws no one else can see. We criticize ourselves with insults we wouldn’t use on our worst enemy. Getting out of our own way is often the hardest part of success. Self sabotage sucks…
I wanted to reach out and hug so many of you, and commiserate about how it’s not our fault we perceive ourselves the way we do. The video floating around on Facebook a week or two ago, proves it.
My desire to lose weight is partially to look better, but more than that, I want to feel better and be healthier! You know the cliche, I’m sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.
I’ve been successful in losing weight before. It’s not rocket surgery. :) But I’ve never been successful in reaching a goal weight I’m happy with or keeping the pounds off long term. So I did some reflecting on what happened that resulted in me giving up before I’d reached my goal and caused me to slip back into my old habits to regain the weight. My number one problem? Me! Self sabotage at it’s finest.
Old: In the past when I’ve joined Weight Watchers, I’d skip the meetings if I knew I’d had a bad week and my weight would be up. I was too hard on myself and would convince myself that I’d go back next week after I’d been perfect and lost the weight I’d gained. One week would turn into two weeks, and eventually I’d get angry at myself that I was paying for the membership but not going, and I’d cancel it.
New: This time around I’ve committed to perfect attendance every week, no matter what the scale is going to say. I’m at 27 weeks and counting.
Old: I’d get bored with the work of counting calories/points and lazy with my habits of tracking and measuring, letting little slips turn into big slides downhill.
New: This is still a struggle for me and I’ve found myself slipping once again, so I’m tracking how often I’m tracking with a goal of at least 5 times per week.
Old: I avoided exercise because I didn’t enjoy it, I didn’t have time, and I felt too self conscious doing it in public, or at home in front of the kids. I let other things get in the way of taking care of myself; family, work, housework, money, etc.
New: I’m not worrying as much about what other people think and I’ve signed up for the Master’s Swim at the gym, and personal training 2 days a week. It’s been challenging with my busy “mom of 3, working full time, with several side writing gigs” schedule, but aside from when my swimming suit disintegrated, I haven’t missed a swim practice or training session yet.
I’ve signed up to participate in one 5K per month throughout 2013 and I’m right on track.
I’ve also started working with a trainer who is pushing me harder than I’ve ever pushed myself. He’s got my phone number and full permission to kick my butt if I don’t show up and play full out at each of our training or swimming sessions.
Old: I used to diet in private. I didn’t want anyone to know I was trying to lose weight because it would call attention to how heavy I was and I didn’t want anyone to see me fail once again.
New: This time everyone knows. I report my ups and downs each week to my family and friends at work, who also do a good job keeping me on track since I can’t snack in front of them without someone saying something. :)
I’m part of a couple of weight loss Facebook groups and I’ve decided to share the nitty gritty details of my weekly weigh-ins and weight loss progress here on my blog as well, so please hold me to it! (If you’d like some help in the accountability department too, please let me know.)
Old: I’ve always looked to exercise, diet, and make better food choices, etc. as a punishment for being fat. Letting slip-ups be an excuse to beat myself up. Criticizing myself for not being good enough.
New: I am so critical of myself and this time around I’m trying to not be black and white with my successes and failures, but instead celebrate the process. If I’m up 2 pounds, asking why, and learning from it. Allowing the process to be gradual instead of expecting more of myself than is possible, setting realistic goals. If I catch myself being critical, I remind myself to celebrate this step in the evolution of becoming me and living up to my potential.
If you haven’t stopped to reflect on why you haven’t reached your goals in the past, it’s a pretty eye opening experience and I highly recommend it. Finding out what your triggers are can help you be aware of them when you’re approaching the danger zone of failure and make corrections to get back on track.