I was having two conversations simultaneously. One with one of the boys at work about a great deal on furnace filters and one with the girls about the effectiveness of birth control at preventing pregnancy.
The conversation started out loud among three of us girls. The boys weren’t around.
Girl A: “I feel so crabby today”
Me: “What’s your excuse? I’m the one who is three days late.”
Girl B: “Didn’t you get your tubes tied?”
In walks the boys…our conversation moved to iChat.
Girl B: “I wonder how effective that is?”
Girl B: Web MD Says: “There is a slight risk of becoming pregnant after tubal ligation. This happens to about 5 out of 1,000 women after 1 year. After a total of 5 years following tubal ligation, about 13 out of 1,000 women will have become pregnant.”
Me: “I’d DIE!” (Said out loud)
Girl A: “What?” (Said out loud)
Me: I copied and pasted the quote from Girl B, sending it to Girl A.
Me: (Said out loud) “Hey, there’s this Home Depot deal for 1/2 off furnace filters. Do you buy the super duper high filtering ones, or the cheaper ones?”
Boy: “Which filters, these?” (Sending me the link on iChat)
Me: “No these,” as I copy the link on Home Depot intending to send him the link to the filters on iChat.
…but the link didn’t copy and I sent him this, “There is a slight risk of becoming pregnant after tubal ligation. This happens to about 5 out of 1,000 women after 1 year. After a total of 5 years following tubal ligation, about 13 out of 1,000 women will have become pregnant.”
Me: Typing faster than I ever have, “I’m sorry! That wasn’t meant for you!”
Boy: I see his shoulders shaking from laughter. He replied on chat, “hahaha!”
Me: I reply sending him the correct link this time, “These are the filters I was asking about.”
Boy: Replies back, “Those will be fine for filtering out pollen and dust, but if you need to filter out sperm, a condom would work best.”
I laughed out loud and sprayed ice’d tea out of my mouth.
Moral of the story. Texting and talking at the same time don’t mix for me. I spent the next couple of days coming into work, with everyone waiting for me to finally announce we could throw a period party. (Awkward!) Probably goes against many HR rules, but no one was offended.
The Furnace filters were a fantastic deal. If you were curious, I got the Ultra Allergen Filtrete Filters from Home Depot for 1/2 off. There’s an even better deal for them now if you’re interested!
Just remember, they won’t work to prevent pregnancy.
(Expires 6/23/2013 11:59pm)