Have you ever been stuck in a cycle you can’t seem to break? Whether it be personal, generational, or environmental like being lost in the woods, we all have moments in life where our progress stalls and we feel like we keep having to experience the same things over and over again.
I had an aha moment Thursday night. My mom came over and helped me swap my office and our dining room so we’d have more room to open up our table and the office clutter would be less visible from the front door. Thank goodness she had the foresight to bring some wine because it was hard work!
In addition to the computer stuff, printers, mouse, desk lamp, office supplies, etc., we moved hundreds of books on success, business building, mindset, sales, social media, blogging, and marketing. These were just the physical books. They don’t include all the audios, videos, training programs and eBooks I bought along the way.
We laughed at how obsessive I can be (of course I got that tendency from her.) Let’s just say I took to heart the Jim Rohn quote, “Income seldom exceeds personal development,” when I was working from home building my blog and growing my home based business.
My focus was always on goals; how can I help my teammates reach theirs, how can I reach mine? We passed around sources of inspiration like they were essential to our health. We’d remind each other to focus on what life would be like when we achieved all our hopes and dreams. “Think abundance, don’t have a scarcity mindset.” “If you dream it you can achieve it.”
It all sounded good in theory, but the more I focused on what I wanted to have, I couldn’t help but to also be aware that I didn’t have it yet. I’d work so hard trying to push myself to the next goal each month. The more I tried to muscle it, the farther away success felt.
Simple Abundance, January 13: Gratitude: Awakening of the Heart
Sarah Ban Breathnach today talks about how she was overwhelmed with feelings of frustration because of all the things she wanted to buy but couldn’t afford. “The more I focused on lack, and on what I couldn’t have the more depressed I became. The more depressed I became, the more I focused on lack.” She realized that instead of financial security, she really wanted financial serenity and it was then that she became aware of all the areas of her life where she was truly abundant.
That cycle of scarcity was exactly what I was doing in my business. It took me until this last Thursday night to figure that out. — I think the wine helped!:)
When I was presented with a “J.O.B.” I was so hesitant to take it. Would I be giving up on my dreams if I took it? Would I be selling out on myself, going to work for someone else? Oh, my goodness! Would I REALLY put my child in daycare after sharing my “why” with hundreds of people?
“A few months before I started my business, my husband had hurt his neck and was out of work for a while. We were really struggling to make ends meet and it made me realize how vulnerable we were having only one paycheck, and I knew I had to find a way to help supplement our income.
I’d tried everything from wedding planning, to daycare because I couldn’t stand the thought of putting my kids in day care and letting someone else raise them. The trouble was that they all required me to trade my time for money and be at the beck and call of someone else’s schedule.
Thankfully my mother in law shared the Arbonne business plan with me and showed me how it would gave me the flexibility to earn a decent paycheck in the nooks and crannies of my day and help others do the same by sharing products that helped people be healthier and look younger. I told my mom about it, who got excited immediately, because she was also looking for something meaningful to do after raising our family, and we decided to do the business together.
I am so happy to be able to make a great paycheck, put my family first, work with people I love, and help others at the same time.”
The J.O.B. opportunity was with an awesome company doing the things I loved most about building my home business, blogging and helping others. Instead of showing them how to make extra money, I’d be showing them how to save money. The company had a “No Miss” philosophy that would allow me to put my family first, and it was an opportunity to play a much bigger game than I was doing on my own.
I was scared that my Arbonne business would fail immediately if I didn’t have as much time to dedicate to it. I was afraid that my presence online would die if I stopped blogging on Clever Marketer. I was afraid that all the sacrifices I’d made and all I’d worked so hard for, would be for naught. Most importantly, I was terrified that my kids would feel unloved if I wasn’t home 100% of the time.
My viewpoints shifted dramatically after I took the job. There were so many blessings to working that I’d never expected to find; friendships, more balance, and personal growth. I was forced to let go a bit and stop trying to micromanage everything.
Once I gave up control, the wishes I had for our family and my life fell into place naturally.
- I grew professionally with the opportunity to build a social media team, and I’ve been able to attend trainings and conferences that I probably wouldn’t have gone to on my own, which expanded my professional network exponentially.
- Because I wasn’t so focused on being “Successful” I paid attention more to being Mom and Wife when I was at home.
- I’m still using and sharing the Arbonne products, and my business has continued to pay me steadily each month for the last one-and-a-half years. The residual income won’t last forever, but it’s been a gift to help us pay down debt and build some financial security.
- My son loves day care and preschool. Working with his teachers, we’ve been able to help him way more than I could have on my own. His speech delay is no longer an issue and he’s gone from shy and afraid of the world to being a leader in his class.
- My daughters have gained confidence as well and my oldest has discovered a love of cooking.
- My marriage has improved and we’ve become a team raising our family, handling our finances, and planning for the future.
On Thursday, I felt like somehow all those books still represented me giving up my dreams. (Look at me still stuck in a scarcity mindset.)
After re-reading Day 13 of Simple Abundance again to write this post, I realize they were a stepping stone to help me go from scarcity, to security, and be starting this year’s journey of serenity.
It’s not sunshine and roses all the time. There is the Black Friday and Holiday Shopping push in my job that threw us out of balance for a few months, but overall, I’m growing and I’m happy.
My job won’t be the last thing I do. I know I was created for more than driving traffic to a website through social media. I have other gifts to share with the world and a deep desire to make a difference for others.
This year’s journey to live in alignment with my authentic self (first discovering who she is) will hopefully help me uncover the clues to figure out what I want to do. But for now I’m aware of the awakening in my heart and grateful for where I am both professionally and personally.
What are you focusing on? Even if you’re not living in luxury, you are living in abundance. You just need to take your nose away from the grindstone long enough to look up and see it.
I’ve moved my gratitude to a monthly post since finding time to blog every day was taking away from bigger priorities like family time. This way I can keep up with listing what I’m grateful for each day while taking my time creating more meaningful content instead of blazing through each post just for the sake of publishing every day. :)